Expectations

To be a woman in this day and age is good, but it could be better. Double standards still exist, sometimes strongly imposed from one woman to another. This in addition to the double standards men impose on women.

One of my coworkers has very strong opinions regarding his wife, a woman with degrees in physics. She is to be a stay-at-home mom, regardless of the fact that she wants to work. I can only imagine not being able to work because my partner did not allow it. (The words "divorce court" quickly come to my mind.) When I asked him how his wife were to support herself and their daughter should something happen to him, he walked away from my desk. The conversation was apparently over. I was not arguing the mom part. I respect all moms. I was arguing not having the choice to work, the forced dependence.

I can tell I make him uncomfortable. He has this fear that his daughter will grow up to think like me. "Too practical, too independent." If she is lucky, she will be independent and practical. It's beyond luck though, it's going to be her environment.

Which brings me to the movies that made me realize, how lucky I am to be a woman today and not in the 1820s or the 1860s.

Vanity Fair
Reese Witherspoon's Becky makes it up the social ladder with less than honorable methods. Here you have a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it, except it looked bad. I both disliked and cheered for Becky. Disliked her because of her ambitions. Cheered for her because of her ambitious nature.

I know there is a notion of social classes everywhere. Either I don't notice them around me or I don't care. I think it is a blend of both. It is also not in my face. I have a friend who desperately wants to be in the upper class, it is how she defines success for herself. She thinks it will bring her happiness. I wonder how long it's going to take her to realize it won't.

Cold Mountain
Nicole Kidman's character, Ada, started out as a weakling, but grew strong. Ada was a proper lady thrown way out of her reality when her father passes away at the start of the Civil War. She must learn to fend for herself with the help of Rene Zellweger's, Ruby, a not so proper lady.
This movie is a love story, which I got caught up in. The long separated lovers, Ada and Jude Law's Inman, were going to be together or so I thought! What a letdown! All that drama for nothing! Was his journey worth it? I think not.