The Swan

I viewed about a half hour of this new show. The premise: remake yourself with plastic surgery...from and ugly duckling to a swan. Sick. There is one that helps make people over into their favorite celebrity. We're talking teens/young adults. Very sick. Extreme Makeover is another show along the lines of The Swan minus the chosing of the better outcome between the two patients.

I could understand if there was a medical reason such as a deformity (think cleft lip/pallet), but pure vanity...come on now.

Yes, people get teased. I got teased as a kid too. If you have insecurity or emotional problems, changing the outside shell with surgery is not going to make those problems go away.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in the end the essence of a person is what really matters. Cliche but so damn true. What good is a beautiful person, if they are rotten on the inside?

Oh, and if it's weight related get your ass off the couch and do something about it already or don't complain about it. I don't complain.... hahahah

Heat

We walked over to Chinatown to get some fresh fruit for the week. Strawberries, Asian pears, grapes. No kumquats today. Ordered some almost-authentic chicken chow mein for lunch. Too bad we had to head back to the office, but did so walking along the water.

What is up with this heat? 90+ degrees in San Francisco! That is just sick. A week ago it was cold enough to need the heater on along with an umbrella and a jacket.

I don't know what I hate more: heat or freezing cold. If I had to choose, I'd choose cold rather reluctantly. With the cold, I can layer clothes to my heart's content. With heat, there is only so much clothes you take off and still look presentable in corporate America.

Overall, I shouldn't complain. California has great weather than the rest of the country. Extreme weather days are limited...thank goodness.

Uma and Denzel

My perfect job would be to watch movies. I don't know about reviewing them, but just pay me to watch them. hahahha

Kill Vill Vol. 2
Uma Thurman reprised her role of a strong woman. Loved the sequel. Sequels always seem to lose a little something. This one may have lost the violence of the Volume 1, but not the captivating story. It all comes together now, and you could call it a love story in a strange way. There is one scene that was pretty disgusting...the eyeball scene. Yuk!

Quentin Tarantino did a great job. Time to watch 'Pulp Fiction' again.

Man on Fire
Dakota Fanning...cutie! This little girl has the acting chops. I like Denzel Washington, but I like him more playing uplifting characters. These darker portrayals take some getting used to, even if one of them did win him an Oscar.

This movie deals with kidnappings in Mexico. It's rare that I watch Spanish news, but I did find out about Vicente Fernandez's son being kidnapped and losing a finger for proof of life. I also got info on Thalia's sister's kidnapping. (The latter made it into the Yahoo news shorts.) I know there is corruption in Mexico up the wazoo, but to see it
acted out on the big screen is pretty damn sad and upsetting. Not because "now people will know", rather "why isn't something being done about it and pronto."

Imagine being kidnapped and then having the kidnappers ask for a $10,000,000 ransom! That is just ridiculous, they might as well kill me then and there minus the torture, please.

She left

My mother's visit ended today. It was very nice to have her visit. I'm not sure who is next, but I think it happens in May.

I hate goodbyes that will be followed by long absences. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I never really know if I will see the person again. Not a morbid thought, I swear! But things happen.

It really sucks that we can't hang out with people in the waiting area anymore. Say goodbye at the security checkpoint...it's all so rushed. At least there was a reason to say "love you, goodbye and come back soon."

Reno, NV

The drive to Reno was not as bad as I thought it would be. I did not take the South Lake Tahoe route, which is more scenic. It was a straight shot on interstate 80. We went there without hotel reservations, because there would be a room available somewhere. Wrong! Everything was booked. There was a suite available for $1200/night. What the hell?!?! That was just obscene and out of the question.

We traveled to the next town, Carson City the state capitol of Nevada. Everything was booked! One o'clock in the morning and no place to sleep. Worst case scenario: we'd sleep in the car after parking in front of the police station. (Always have a plan Z.) All of a sudden there are bright lights flashing. Someone had gotten pulled over by the police. To my surprise...it was me.

Police: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Nope.
Police: Driver's license please.
Police: It's one o'clock in the morning on a Saturday night and you are driving around without your headlights on.
Me: Ohh.

I did not get a ticket. He was pretty nice. Our luck turned. The last hotel had one room available. The clerk said, "Last room and it's a smoking room. I don't have non-smoking rooms." I don't care, just get me a bed. I need to stay out of Carson City, both times I have been pulled over by the police. The first time was for speeding.

In Reno, we caught a musical review show called Broadway. They performed sequences from Chicago, Cabaret, 42nd Street, Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables. It was great. My respect was renewed for people in the entertainment business. Singing, dancing, acting. Those people worked the stage and it did not look easy.

30

The jokes started early in the year. No problem. The questioning started this past week. Biased questions too. Men don't get this kind of crap.
-Don't you want to have children? As of now, no.
-Don't you want to get married? I'm not sure.
-Have you thought about settling down? It's not like I'm running around doing nothing.

I don't feel 30. I don't know what 30 is suppose to feel like. This age was the review date for goals I set more than a decade ago (accompanied by the real picture).
1) Ph.D. -Don't know what I want to study, but it's not Computer Science.
2) Career with one of the Big 5 Accounting firms -I'm in tech.
3) Married -Don't know if I want to be.
4) Twins -N/A
5) Pale yellow home with the white picket fence -Looking at overpriced properties.
6) A dog -It's inhumane to have a pet that will be alone more than 12 hours a day.

I was suppose to be hiking part of the Grand Canyon today to greet the new phase with a physical accomplishment. I did not train for it. Instead I have a sh*tload of laundry and then we are off to Reno, Nevada.

I'm happy. ;)

Tax Day

Today is the deadline for filing taxes. And like millions of procrastinators I practically waited until the last minute. I mailed them out today.

Took the day off work to hang out with my mom. We went to Artopia, ceramic painting place. I enjoy it, but not more than she does. We usually spend a couple of hours trying to come up with our individual designs and proceeding to paint them. Focusing on our respective masterpieces puts us in somewhat of a zone. The only sounds that filter through are the background music and my mother's voice.

Good Friday

My mother arrived today. She is visiting for two weeks. That means delicious home-cooked meals! But more importantly, the type of conversations you can only have with your mother.

Confession

Confession has never been something I look forward to. Even thought the number of times I have confessed can be counted on one hand. Hmmm. Well, definitely not more than six times, that's for sure.

The times I have gone I have felt a tremendous weight lifted off me. I feel internal calm and free. Free of my own personal judgement. No, I am not a bible-thumping Catholic. That is not my thing.

All I know is that the alternate methods I have attempted to use to find peace have not worked. Catholicism works for me. Often times I am plagued by doubt and questions, but faith is not an easy thing to come by. Buddhism also speaks to me in a way. I'm searching.

This is the last week of Lent. Confession was today. I paced outside the church. Asking myself if I really wanted to confess. I felt sick. Hands shaking. (You'd think I had killed someone. FYI: I haven't.) It needed to be an honest act, not a forced one. It's humbling. And yes, I did participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Forgiveness was one of my reflection items for this Lenten season. I've made some headway. Tonight I sent out two emails offering apologies. Those apologies would not have been sent out if I had not forgiven myself and those who trespassed against me. I'm not done yet, but it's my start.

Peace. It's a wonderful feeling.

Guitar Lesson

I had my first official guitar lesson today. It went well. I learned how to tune the darn thing and four chords. Practice, practice, practice is going to be the order of the coming weeks. Why I thought it was going to be a breeze is beyond me at the moment. My fingers stumble along at their own pace. I'm going to need patience.

Afterwards I went to a co-worker's birthday get-together. I don't look forward to going to work-related things many times I just don't go. I believe in a separation between my professional life and my personal life. That line has been blurred, but not much. It was fun and interesting to see people that I see daily in a different context. I was definitely in the minority since I am not gay, over thirty or white.

Two things dawned on me 1) my friends are older which means I am "older" and 2) I need hispanic friends.

Office Politics

Once again I realized why I may not have a long and prosperous career. I don't like office politics. Don't know how to play the game and have no interest in learning how. I speak my mind and that is not always a good thing.

I'm on a project right now that is really testing my patience and sometimes my sanity. My manager asked me what I thought the problem was. I told her management was the problem. She seemed surprised and quickly said management was not the problem. People don't choose to be overworked, managers do that with unrealistic expectations and lack of planning.

For a split second, I wondered whether to keep expressing my opinions, afterall she asked me. I didn't. Instead I asked her what she was going to do, as our manager, to make the team's situation better. In my mind, I told myself "if you don't make our crazy schedules sane again you are part of the problem and you're part of management."