Monday, December 19, 2005

Another one

Add another book to my book inventory. Christmas present accompanied by gift certificate for a bookstore.

My friend is having man trouble. I really believe that if she has to ask, she knows the answer. Plain and simple he's a bit of an *sshole. She needs to let him go or better yet kick him out of her life. No 'we're going to try to be friends' just move on once and for all. It's easier said than done, but it has to get easier specially at our age. Right? Easier to not only recognize the mistakes but recognize the mistakes in the making. I hope she makes a decision and that she makes it soon.

It rained the entire weekend. And I did nothing except for sit on my couch and watch TV and movies. Had the heater on and a blanket. It was marvelous.
De-Lovely I have been putting this movie off for a while. I don't remember what I had heard, but I'm sure it was something to do with boring. It was anything but that. It was a musical based on the last 10 seconds of the life of Cole Porter. (This from the special features.) He tells the story of his life via musical segments and I got to recognize music from days past. It turns out he was gay and married to his very understanding muse. Alanis Morrisette performs a song as do Robbie Williams and Sheryl Crowe. I might get the soundtrack.
I, Robot Blah. It wasn't great , it wasn't terrible. It was okay. It reminded me that as a child I thought life was going to be like in a Jetsons cartoon..flying cars and robots. What do we have? That round robotic vacuum, which doesn't seem like it would work well in corners.

I'm counting the days to be on vacation. I want to hang out with the family. I hope they got a christmas tree, I feel like a christmas tree with non-blinking lights.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Not good

I need to be stopped. I have been on what could very well be a spending spree. I look at my bookshelves and there are eleven new books. There are probably 4 new books in my boxes. My father wants to know what I want for Christmas and the first thing that came to my mind was "there are these three books I'd like." And these are just books. I've been spending a lot of money on my apartment.

I went browsing to see what I might get my friend. I found her gift and then decided to get one for myself. A purse.

I brought work home with me this weekend. It has not seen the light of day. I fool myself everytime I do that. If I want to get work done during the weekend, I have to go to the office. There is no way around it. I'll have to discipline myself though, because I've decided to start telecommuting in 2006.

Movies. I can't sit and enjoy a movie unless I am confined to a movie theatre. While watching the following, I was reading a magazine, sweeping the floors, washing dishes, removing curtain rods.
After the Sunset I loved the blue hues of the water. The movie was predictable.
Uptown Girls I will be following Dakota Fanning's career. This little girl is a good actor and she gives an entertaining interview. She was the only reason to watch this movie.
Girl with a Pearl Earring Drab colors suck the little energy I have on a lazy afternoon. I loved when she was mixing the colors, specifically an amazing blue.

Modified dental chair! That's what was described on the news about the upcoming death penalty execution Tuesday, assuming there is no pardon. I will be in a regular dental chair for about three hours on Tuesday. Not making light of the situation.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Crappy

I've been waking up with a headache the last week, which in turn leads me to have a crappy mood at work. People are noticing too.

My mom's one month visit ended on Sunday. It was a nice visit, but the last few days I knew I'd reached my "I want to be alone" time. I'm looking forward to going home on Christmas Eve.

I bought a bed. King size. What the hell was I thinking? Oh yeah, I wasn't. It barely fits in my room, but I love it. It's super comfy.

The end of the year is here. It's been non-stop thinking and reflecting for me. Maybe that is where the headaches are coming from. Hmmmmm.

I bought Christmas cards, yet feel no desire to send them out.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Quick summary

Since my last update there were two more health scares.

My friend (33!) got admitted for apparent heart problems. It turned out to be a pretty serious anxiety attack. Doctor's diagnosis: Stress. Stress? Spare me. I don't buy it. Give me a reason or say 'we don't know.'

My friend's father, the same friend whose mother has been in the hospital since September, went to the hospital with congestive heart failure. This bit of news made me cry. Get to work and the first email I read had this news in it.

My mother arrived yesterday for a month long visit. She's already rearranged part of my kitchen. Grrrr. But I have to admit it looks better.
We went to Ikea on a whim. We went to look for curtain rods. Found them at a somewhat decent price. The bonus: some cute curtains.
Note to self: this apartment is costing me.
Next on the list: Rugs. I've gotten wood floors out of my system.

I'd love to add blog entries from work, but I refrain from doing so. It's my own personal paranoia. If for whatever reason I should ever be fired, I don't want it to be over some stupid blog. And since I have gotten to the point that I don't turn on my home machine unless I need to do some online banking or something like that, the blog suffers. It's an excuse, I admit it. A valid excuse at that.

Other than this, coming to terms with the fact that 2005 is almost over. Life is seriously flying by and I fear I don't have a lot to show for it. Not just things, but crazy experiences. Yeah, I may be a little old for crazy experiences, but something. I remember the movie: About Schmidt. Makes me shudder.

People trying to convince me I should have a boyfriend, or better yet get married, is at a high right now. This pressure comes in cycles. One of my friends said she was not as 'strong' as me....meaning she could not be single. What the hell. I tried to tell her it was not about strength, nothing to do with strength. It's about having the faith that if I am meant to be married it will happen in its own time. Once the holidays are here, they should start leaving me alone until Valentine's Day rolls around. Yippe!

I'm not adventurous anymore. I am experiencing a bit of stress (too funny) planning my Europe vacation. Part of me says we should just go and see what happens. My responsible side is winning which has me looking into renting apartments, reviewing bed and breakfasts. Oh, and the constant remembering I need to get a passport. Yikes!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Neglected

My much neglected blog. I've been on vacation and back. Ailments and surgeries (not me). Received a promotion. Got invited to London (I wish I could go). Booked my mother's flight for her month-long visit. Found out my friend's mother had to be revived and was practically give her last rites!, she's not critical anymore. Hence --> Booked a flight to LA for this Friday. Booked my Christmas flight. Contemplating my trip overseas. Reading books. Most importantly, for my sanity, made it back to the movies after close to a three month absence (but it seems oh so much longer).

I'll have to come back and fill in the details...right now I'm a bit tired.

Oh yeah, and have a sh*tload of unpacking to do...still!

Sunday, September 11, 2005

4 years

It's been four years already. The Discover channel had a great documentary on the flight that rebelled. It had actual voice recordings and interviews with family members as well as the images ingrained in our memories. The weeks following constituted of a steady diet of news channels...day and night. When there was no access to television, it was online news.

Today it's all about Katrina and that chaos. I can't believe how ignorant people are about the number of poor, class differences, and race. No one can claim ignorance, unless they have not hit the age of reason or live in a bubble. The poor have a face we have all seen everyday on the way to work. It's the homeless people avoid or won't look in the eye let alone take out a dollar to put in the cup.

I could not make it to Spanish mass today. I attended English mass just in the nick of time. I was seated at 6:58 PM and mass started at 7 PM. I love going to Spanish mass, it keeps me in tune with the language. If it was not for Spanish mass, I would not be exposed to Spanish in any way. I now speak to my parents in English, so that does not help. I cannot believe the differences. English mass is beautiful, but something in me resists making the change. I shouldn't generalize but I have to note the differences. The following pertains to my observations in mass settings:

1. Americans are so damn organized, Latinos not so much.
2. Could not hear a whimpering child, while in the Spanish mass it's a multitude of crying babies and parents who won't remove them from the church so the rest of us can hear what is being said.
3. English mass starts and ends on time. Spanish mass starts 10 minutes late and lasts 30 minutes extra.
4. Latinos don't sing, while English voices vibrate throughout the church - loud and beautiful.
5. All English speakers receive the eucharist. There are more Latinos who stay seated than those who partake in the feast. (I admit, I don't participate.)

What's swaying me to English mass is the full participation of everyone present, it makes it a more beautiful experience. I'll have to think about this one. Maybe I'll alternate weekends.

Bought curtains for my living room. Haven't found the perfect color for the bedroom. I'm spending too much money on this place. Grrr!

Friday, September 09, 2005

Dinner and a movie

I went to a friend's home to watch Steel Magnolias and make dinner. He's seen Steel Magnolias more times than he cares to remember. I've seen it a handful of times myself, but it had been a while. It's funny how the same movie can evoke different feelings in different years. This time I had kidney failure and diabetes context...my loved ones. My friend, who lost his mother in April, could not watch the funeral scene.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Interview

I was asked to interview a new candidate for our group. I didn't want to do it, but I could not get out of it. Wow. This guy could really sell himself. So much so, I felt I was talking to a salesman and began to question how much was hype.

He: How long have you been with this group?
Me: Almost a year.
He: I see. You were in college last year then?

I didn't know whether to be flattered or offended.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

How long will it last?

My first attempt at having a roommate is not to my absolute liking. I normally go to sleep approx. 1 AM. With my roommate here two days a week, I have to be in my room by 9 PM. I haven't gone to bed at 9 PM since I was 9 years old, maybe 10.

This is not a stranger I'm talking about either. This is a friend. I can tell my patience is running low by the second night. I am so used to living alone that I wonder how I will manage should I ever get married.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Recycling

I now live in a city that recycles. (1) Organics. (2) Recyclable Materials. (3) Solid Waste. I'm not used to separating items. Which brings me to:

Plastic grocery bags can take up to 1,000 years to breakdown in a landfill.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Oblivious

I didn't find out about Katrina's devastation until Thursday. I knew there was a storm warning and that was the last I heard. I heard a soundbite about flooding. Turned on the TV Thursday and finally saw images. You can't help but feel helpless except for donating what you can.

It's not that I am normally oblivious to news. There has literally been no time to check CNN during the week. On average 16 hour workdays with no minute to waste. My spare time was dedicated to my move.

Now I am in my new city and place. Love it. My commute is shorter. I have about 50 boxes to unpack, but no energy to do it. Today I watched the news and some movies. Read a little bit. It was a total rest day. Me and my couch.

Let see what tomorrow brings.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Moving Time

After years of procrastination, I start moving tomorrow. I've only packed part of the kitchen, the restroom and the closet which is about 30% of everything. I'm stressed. It's really no ones fault but my own. Over ten friends (who have found out by accident) have offered to give up their weekend to help me move without my asking. And every single one of those people I have turned down, saying 'no thank you, it will be fine.' This is one of my have to work on things, accepting help from others. I have no problems helping people, friends or strangers, but if they try and do the same thing I can't accept it. I'd call that an issue. ;)

Yesterday I cried at work. I hated myself for it, but it was better than what I was capable of doing...cursing out the people stressing me beyond my limit. I wound up crying because I did not want to start yelling, so all that bottled negativity made an appearance via tears. I told my project manager three times to leave me alone. He did not stop. He kept following me, venting, all the while raising his voice. The fourth time, I told him I couldn't take it anymore and bailed out of a very important meeting. I didn't go. I went to the water and walked for an hour. I was five minutes late to another very important meeting, but feeling much calmer. Finally made it back to my desk and there is a note: "I owe you an apology." By the end of the day it was okay. Apologies exchanged and accepted. We are all stressed beyond acceptable limits. This is what happens when our boss wants a three month project successfully completed in two weeks...because the boss wants the recognition. Jerk.

A friend got engaged...after 10+ years in a long-term relationship. I'm very happy for her, this is what she's wanted for a long time.

I leave for Mexico in less than a month. No computers, no passwords, no telephone, no TV, no radio. All that gone for two weeks. Replaced with long conversations with my grandmother. Delicious home cooked meals. Quiet. A night sky packed with stars. Clean air. In other words, Heaven on Earth.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Baseball Fun

My team and I went to a baseball game. We left work at 12pm, thirteen of us inluding the boss. The weather was suppose to be a breezy 69 degrees. My sunburned arms would tell you otherwise. Perfect weather, but I needed sunscreen. It was fun to be away from the office as it always is. The S.F. Giants won 6 - 5.

My team has identified me as the funny one. That's funny. What they enjoy is that I look for the fun in everything, even the most mundane things. Make things fun for myself and if others have fun too, well even better.

I got a call about the apartment today. I move on 8/19. Yay!!! It's time to pack up all of my belongings. Little by little. I have to look for movers.

Invisible line

With public transportation you never know who you are going to sit next to and vice versa. My latest pet peeve is men who take up a space and a half because they sit with their legs spread out. Follow the invisible vertical line. You stay in your space and I stay in mine.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Just another day in the life of...

Today was a day of new beginnings, sort of.

My friend, who has been trying to adopt for three years, was given the news she can pick up her son on Friday. No children on Wednesday and a child on Friday. Imagine that emotional roller coaster ride. Very happy for her. It's very sad to see someone who wants to be a parent and for whatever reason can't.

My friend's father has been diagnosed with beginning stages of Alzheimer's. His mother died of cancer earlier this year.

My friend met someone who turned out to be married, but he forgot to disclose that in the last three months. Sad part is she was really into this guy.

My friend found out she's someone's girlfriend. Yep, he introduced her as his girlfriend. She's delighted. Once you get to be a certain age it's weird to ask, 'are we boyfriend and girlfriend?'

My friend started crying at work. She's overwhelmed with everything that is assigned to her at the moment. I invited her out to drinks. Me of all people.

My mother called to tell me my cousin got married. Another one. I think she's given up hope on her own daughter. jeejjee

My boss tells me "I am very happy you are part of my team." I started laughing. (I don't know how to accept a compliment.) He followed that by telling me he has started the process for a promotion. Yay!

Received my umpteenth invitation to another babyshower this year.

Still waiting to hear about the apartment.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Warp speed

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

This quote says it all considering today marks the beginning of August!

Roommate...hell no

My friend asked me if she could stay with me a few days. What was I suppose to say? I don't want a roommate. If she had given me a specific time (2 weeks or 1 month) I would feel better. Instead it was an ambiguous request. A few days could mean anything.

If things work out the way she wants them to she'll only be in this area for three days per week. Why would she want to rent an apartment for herself if this is the case? She earns a hell of alot more than I do, but she's also very conservative with her money.

I'm jumping ahead of myself. Let me stop...for now.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Romance...kind of

Today was a romance movie marathon. Three movies to be exact.

An Affair of Love I queued up this movie again because I recommended it to a co-worker who in turn told me I'd probably like L'Ennui. Hello?! An Affair was about two strangers who meet for sex and wind up falling in love. (sigh) L'Ennui was about disturbing, mad, sexal obsession. An Affair made it very clear to me to tell someone if I was into them or not regardless of the possible outsome of such a confession. It was a beautiful movie.

The next two movies I saw sequentially and for the first time. They did not disappoint. Before Sunrise is about an American and a French girl who meet on a train and spend the day together in Vienna before he flies off to the U.S. in the morning. It's twentysomething dialogue against beautiful backdrops. I kept wishing they would not sleep together. No luck. They slept together. They also promise to meet each other six months to the day because they recognize the spark of, dare I say it, soul mates.

As it turns out, they were unable to meet 6 months later. That's where Before Sunset comes in. Time elapsed...9 years later. A fluke. He's promoting a book in Paris where she lives. She shows up at the signing. Awkwardness. They fall back into dialogue. He's married. She's not. They both regret not being able to meet as planned 9 years before. And the movie leaves viewers guessing, which leaves the door wide open for another sequel.

Sunrise has these two individuals meet by chance and connect on a certain level. I believe this is what people do with the internet everyday...chatting in particular. To 'talk' and divulge to a total stranger and having it seem right. Then after sometime reality kicks in.

Sunset made me wonder about the what ifs in my own life. I wonder if I will ever get to see him again. If we do meet somewhere, it's fate. I'm not holding my breath, but it saddens me to think that under different circumstance that could have been the one.

Like I said, it was a day of romance what ifs.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Apt Search

I've been moving for three years. The thought of moving gives me a headache. It's time. I looked at three properties today. They were all great.

#1 was on a tree-lined street. White picket fences. It was small! Only one person could fit in the kitchen at any one time. There was hardly any storage space. This made me realize how much sh*t I own.

#2 had an amazing kitchen. It was bigger than the bedroom. It had a granite island in the middle. (I loved it, and I don't even cook.) It was an extra room that could be used as an office. Quiet street. Loved it. It did not come with laundry facilities or a parking space.

#3 is in a great location. A block away from the main shopping street. Close to public transportation. Hardwood floors. I want hardwood floors instead of wall-to-wall carpeting this time. And the library is right there. ;)

This time it's serious. I gave my thirty day notice. I have to be out of here August 24. Hooray. I better find something that works for me by then.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Fat Reading

The first time I saw this advertisement I didn't like it. That's when I knew I had officially been brainwashed by television, radio and the print media. I am so used to seeing the thin, long-legged models that normal doesn't look right to me anymore. What the f*ck! Instead of celebrating this media milestone, bashing the unrealistic ideal, I found it flawed. No, this is not a celebration of fat. It's a step in the right direction and I was slow to accept it.

When I saw the advertisement, I was in the middle of reading Fat: The Anthropology of an Obsession. This book is really interesting. It looks at how fat is seen in different parts of the world. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. It proves that fat is an unhealthy obsession not only here, but in most first world countries.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Tattoo Parlor

Friend and I went to dinner. After that we decided to walk off the dessert. He wanted to show me the tattoo parlor where he got his piercing. Okay. I'm flipping through the photo book admiring the detailed tattoos, some of the branding and cutting, the piercings.

My tattoo is small, but it still hurt. I can't imagine the pain involved with some of those large tattoos. Large artwork like that is done in sessions which may require to go over the same area again for color richness. Ouch.

Branding. Cutting. Piercing. The first time I heard of branding I wanted to do it. Some sense kicked in eventually. Cutting. Hell no. Piercings? 7. All in my ears though. As a teen I wanted one next to my eyebrow. My father said he'd tear it off. I believe he would have.

The pictures went from great tattoos to branding on the shoulders and back. The cutting pictures made me dizzy. Facial piercings...no problem. Nipple and vagina piercings...a problem. I couldn't finish looking at the pictures.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

#7

Lance Armstrong won his seventh Tour de France victory. Okay, I was awed by win #6 just yesterday! Truly inspirational on many different levels.

Fernando Valenzuela, Steve Sax
Orel Hershiser
Gabriela Sabatini
Ivan Lendl, Stefan Edberg
Debbie Thomas, Katarina Witt
Wayne Gretzky
Pete Sampras, Michael Chang, Andre Agassi
Jennifer Capriati
Lance Armstrong

Looks like I need to look for another sports hero. How about Danica Patrick?

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Athlete

As soon as I signed on to my machine at work, I got some pictures from a friend. I thought they were from one of her vacations in the Caribbean or some other romantic getaway. Wrong. They were pictures from her second triathlon in the last three months! I'm so proud of her! The water looked cold. The day was cloudy. The progression was:
1) Her number written on her calf and arms as well as pinned. She was all smiles.
2) Swimming. She's in the zone.
3) Biking. She's really in the zone.
4) Running. Can't get her out of the zone.
5) Crossing finish line. She was all smiles again.

She's always been athletic. Now she's an athlete. Way to go!

Monday, July 18, 2005

Questionable

One of my coworkers exhibited questionable behavior recently and it just so happens that his wife is away at the moment. He invited another married person out for winetasting, but did not invite her husband. That was sign #1. She thought it was too awkward to go alone so she invited three other people. We declined the invitation to which he responded, 'good.' That was sign #2. When she asked about rescheduling to August, he responded he would not be available anymore because his family would be back. That was sign #3.

Can a married man and a married woman be friends? Yes and no. Yes, they can be friends but with boundaries. No, my hypothetical husband could not be inviting his friend to go winetasting while I was out of the damn country. Where's the trust? The trust would be there, but I am not a believer of placing yourself in unnecessary situations that could introduce temptation.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Summer is here

Today was a a wonderful 103 degrees. Yuk. I turned on the AC (which was working yesterday) and it did not work. Leasing office said the earliest they could come fix it is Monday! This meant bookstore and movies...doing things I enjoy that happen the have air conditioning.

Wedding Crashers
Can people actually crash weddings? These days everything is invite only. I've never seen people hook up at weddings, there is too much pressure, you are at a wedding for goodness sake. Regardless, the movie was funny. Football seen was hilarious. The crazy chick was over the top.
Having been a bridesmaid twice myself, I can assure you the only thing that was going through my mind was 'When can I change out of this dress?'

Seeing Vince Vaughn on the big screen reminded me that he was my first choice to play the lead in The DaVinci Code movie. Yes, we see him in comedies, but he could do drama. It's all in the face, the demeanor and he has it.

Dinner with a Perfect Stranger was my purchase for the day. I've heard buzz surrounding this book. Many were buying the latest Harry Potter (I only read the first book) while I was content with the small book.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Lovely music

The Chorus was such a sweet movie. I plan on getting the soundtrack for the beautiful music. Of course, I cried even with the predictable storyline.

The last movie whose score moved me was The Phantom of the Opera which was way back in December '04. I was told I have to watch the show because even though the movie was great, the show is amazing.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Driving in the City

I don't drive into SF. I don't like the traffic. Pedestrians are crazy. Too stressful for me. And this is coming from someone that was in LA for 24 years! That has to tell you something.
I drove into the city today. It was my friend's birthday and she had a small celebration. Managed to get the musicians to sing "Las Mañanitas" for her.

I didn't stay too late. I missed the fun though, people got sick from all the drinking.

Monday, July 04, 2005

To err is human, no?

My latest strategy of using links for some of my blog entry titles redirects people to the movie page. Oy! Wake up already! jejejjejej

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Oh Brother

My mother tells me my brother is upset with me. He is upset that I come here and involve myself in family drama. Well, sh*t, it's my family too. His point is that I don't live here. I come here for visits throughout the year. That I should not be adding fuel to any fires. Part of me agrees with him, in two days I will be back in CA and this drama will not be part of my life. But right now, I am here and I feel the tension.

Spent the day with my friend who in turn took me to meet her friends. It was nice to see she has good people around her. We ranged in age from 23 to 54. In no way was I expecting to hear the words: man-whore. Overwhelming testimony of what I always believed..the best looking men are in Italy the only problem is that the Italian men agree with this statement.

What came out of this gathering was an announcement of planned trips. MQ told everyone I'd be in Spain in April. (It's actually Spain and Italy. M signed up to go with me.) The rest of her friends will be there in July 2006.

Spanish. English. Farsi. Vietnamese. German. French. those were all the languages that could be heard in that house this lazy Sunday afternoon over coffee and pastries. It was nice. All women, of all ages, of all nationalities.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Too Sleepy

I arrived in OKC at 9:10 AM. I did not sleep a wink on the plane because I forgot my travel, neck pillow in the bag I checked in. I had it all planned. I would sleep on the plane and be energized when I landed; instead, I was dragging my feet and knocked out for three hours in the middle of the day. My energy was zapped for the rest of the day.

I did not arrive alone to OKC. 6 rolls of film arrived with me. From California to Georgia to Oklahoma. The oldest roll was from April 2004 and the youngest one was from April 2005. A year of pictures. Pitiful. It's one those tasks that just get lost in the daily shuffle. Everytime I saw them I'd tell myself I had to get them developed. They turned out great. I did not even remember what was on them to begin with so it turned out to be a nice surprise for all of us.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Is it over yet?

This was a tough week. Monday we had another goodbye luncheon. Tuesday said goodbye to another contractor (she was on a plane to Mazatlan before the sun set). Wednesday contractor went on maternity leave. Thursday said goodbye to another contractor. We also celebrated a birthday, someone finishing his MBA. Thursday I bid goodbye to M until the next time we see each other.

It is an endless circle isn't it? People come and people go. Not for one minute does life stop.

My flight leaves at 10:40 PM to Atlanta, because there are no direct flights to OKC and this flight met my time and money criteria.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

North Beach

Drove into the City so M could check into her hotel. We hit gay pride parade traffic. Union Square. Chinatown. North Beach. Same old jaunts but I never get tired of it and, most importantly, neither do my guests.

North Beach is SF's Italian neighborhood and I'm in heaven when I am there. Yep, it's all about the language and the accent. Keeps my Italian dream trip alive until I make it to the real Italia. Anyway, we sipped coffee while we people watched in the warm afternoon sun along with continuous girl talk.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Where are you?

Me (10:50 AM): I'll pick you up. No, silly, it's not a bother. See you in a about an hour.
Me (12:10 PM): I can't find you. Which baggage claim? #1..okay about 10 feet away see you in a few seconds.
Me (12:15 PM): Hmmm. Are you sure it's baggage claim #1?
Me (12:30 PM): What airport are you at?

Yep, I went to the wrong airport. She was waiting at SFO and I was a OAK. We finally met at 2:00 PM. Hadn't seen her in 2 years, but it seemed like it was just the other day. She was here for the JavaOne conference...part of the geek deluge. ;)

We lunched in Oakland and spent the rest of the day in Berkeley. Talked until the wee hours of the morning.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Crash

Excellent. This movie is about truth. Truth that people either don't know, don't talk about or don't want to believe. That's always the case with race though.

We explored some of the scenarios we've had in our own lives. Some of mine...

I've walked into stores and received extra attention. Not the good kind. The type of attention that screams they are waiting for me to steal something. It does not matter that I may out earn every person in that store. I am part of a minority and they chose to apply a stereotype.

I had a high school teacher scoff at a Spanish Literature advance placement course. He thought the school offering such a class was a terrible waste of time and resources, but most importantly unfair. He thought that Spanish speaking students taking this class was a joke because we spoke Spanish at home. He could not understand that speaking Spanish and reading/writing/thinking in were completely different things. We had not been taught formal Spanish and that is what made it one of the most difficult classes. Of course, this was not the argument for the English Literature advance placement course even though most of the people in the class spoke English from day zero.

When I was in college we lived in what I guess you could call a blue collar neighborhood. It wasn't the 'hood by any means. One of my classmates came over for a visit. His visit was quite lengthy; it was late when he decided it was time to head back. My friend (6 foot, 220 lb) asked me to walk him to his car! All these years later, I can't believe it. I walked him to his car after laughing hysterically and finally realizing he was not kidding. He was not exposed to blue collar neighborhoods. He grew up in white collar suburbia. Was it his fault? No, of course not.

And the latest one...finding out I'm usually the only minority friend in certain people's circles is downright sad, specially in California.

My Indian coworker expressed his knee-shaking fear when he accidentally wound up in Oakland after dark. Why? Because Oakland is predominantly black. Has he ever had a bad experiece with black people? No, not at all.

The idea of the salad bowl (or was it the melting pot) is great, but in reality the mixing of so many differences is not so great. You'd think the growing pains would be over but they are not. Stereotypes persist. Fear of the unknown is strong.


Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room
It took me a few days for it all to sink in. Then came the disgust. I kept up with the headlines when it was on the front page, but like everything else it wittled away to the next big news story. Hearing actual brokers talk about sticking it to California and the subsequent laughter. Damn. Where was the sense of right and wrong? Could it happen again? What about the people who lost so much?

Monday, June 20, 2005

Calendar Girls

The surprising thing about Calendar Girls was that it's true. Middle-aged women did participate in the making of a 'nude' calendar to raise funds for a Leukemia charity. That idea is still raising money to this very day. Too cool.

For years I've thought having an elegant nude portrait of myself would be cool to look when I was 75 years old (assuming I made it to that age). The plan was to get this done at 30, what I thought was going to be my prime age. Didn't happen. Where would I exhibit a portrait like that? In my living room? More like nowhere, I'm shy. This movie brought back the crazy idea.

And it brought back another memory. I have a picture of a boyfriend from a past life. It's not a nude, but it might as well be. I don't know where it is, but it's somewhere in the apartment. Hope nobody ever finds it by accident. If I find it first, it needs to be shredded.

My Life Without Me
Didn't like this one. I found it extremely drab. Yes, she is going to die and she is coming to terms with that but still. Before I saw this movie, I had it in my head that I would not tell my family should I be diagnosed with something drastic. A few years ago my mother's best friend husband died. It was a shock. He had cancer and did not tell anyone. Not supposed to judge, but that is an extreme case of selfishness, which brought more questions and hurt after his death on top of the regular old grieving process. Not fair. If I am diagnosed with something drastic, my family and friends will know.

Honey
Watching the dancing scenes was okay...that was about the only okay part in the entire movie.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Bubble wrap

It's my new "yoga" as of a few hours ago. If I need to zone out, all I need to do is reach for some bubble wrap.

We watched the Michael Jackson verdict on CNN. Not the greatest use of company time. I was surprised with the results. I didn't think I was leaning one way or another as far as his innocence, err, guilt... But I obviously expected a guilty verdict, else why would I be surprised.

"Stop and go" This was the phrase used by a woman who was having intimate relations with her ex-husband who is married to the secretary he left his wife for. Karma, baby, karma. It's a little weird listening to someone a little older than my own mother use the words "stop and go" to describe her liaisons.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

I can't get over how beautiful Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie are. Of course, I knew they were, but seeing them both on the same screen made it clear in case I had any doubts. These two are simply stunning. It's almost like the rest of the world got beat with the ugly stick. ;)

The film was quite enjoyable. Chuckling could be heard throughout with the hardiest laughs coming from the couples. We've all been there...long term relationship where the excitement has faded.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Spanglish

I recall reading fabulous reviews about this film, but after seeing it I fail to see why the critics liked it so much. I fell asleep for a few minutes and that doesn't happen to me. (It happened once before with Ace Ventura Pet Detective. Stupid movie.)

The premise: A Mexican housekeeper (and she wasn't even Mexican!...pet peeve of mine) starts working for an American family.

The housekeeper's daughter got on my nerves. The wife got on my nerves. The lack of backbone of the husband got on my nerves. Why was the son even in the film? How the housekeeper and husband managed to fall for each other....


I spent the day touring Alameda with a friend where, if things go how I want them, I will be moving to soon enough. I don't want to live through another hot, almost humid summer. I want to live in an old victorian with wooden floors. They are few and far between, but I am going to try.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Gandhi

Come to find out I have been mispelling Gandhi all this time. I always thought it was spelled Ghandi.

I had not seen this 1982 masterpiece. Maybe because in 1982 my mother took me to see E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial four or five times at my pleading! And that was also the year of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. Mom only took me twice to see Star Wars. Goes to show you my love for movies started at a very young age...8. And probably younger than that. Saturday morning matinees.

I could not have appreciated Gandhi then. It is a great movie. It educated me to a degree. I knew about Gandhi, but I didn't know about Gandhi. Does that make sense? (Note: Read a book on Gandhi)

The most powerful scene for me was the scene at the salt factory. Row after row of non-violent people walked to the doors even though the people that had just walked before them were beaten terribly. I don't know that I have that kind of courage and conviction in my beliefs. I discussed this scene with a friend. He thinks it was overdramatized. Maybe. I don't know. But as Americans all we have to do is look at news footage of non-violent, civil rights workers a mere 50 years ago. I can only hope and pray that when I am put to the test, I show the same courage.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

The Longest Yard

Chris Rock and Adam Sandler in the same movie...easy choice. I went to watch this even though I am not a real football fan. I'll usually jump on the bandwagon during playoffs or a Super Bowl if there is the presence of a real underdog.

It was funny. I thought it was going to be funnier, but I got some laughs out of it. One of the funny things was hearing the men react to the body blows. I should see the original movies from the 1970s, another Netflix queue addition. I have over 300 movies on that queue so one more won't hurt.

During high school years, I'd go to football games because everyone else did. I had friends on the team, the cheerleading squad and the band. It was also a reason to be out late. Late was 11PM in those days. The tension during the games against our main rival was crazy. That was backintheday simple fun.

I remember watching a Super Bowl one year (my mom is a fan) where a player's lower leg broke during a play. They kept replaying it in slow motion and you could see the exact point when it broke, where it broke and dangle. Sick. That was enough football watching for me.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Wrench

That is exactly what was thrown into my happiness strut...a monkey wrench. I called a friend who I have not talked to in a while. There was something in her voice that didn't sound right. Either she was upset or she was sad. I asked. She tells me that a friendship is like a plant, and if it is not watered you can not expect it to survive. I was dumbfounded. She continued to tell me that she put forth much effort and my token response was always, 'everything is good with me, very busy.' The hurt and confusion I felt were immediate.

I didn't bother explaining. There was no point, I know her. She was going to be heard. So I listened.

I didn't bother explaining because I had felt the same way months before and decided to reduce my effort in order not to feel resentment...in the 'why do I feel I am doing all the work here' kind of way. I have the phone bills to prove it for goodness sake.

My day ended in a terrible funk yesterday and it continued today.

Is this the right time to let this go? Or should there be an attempt to renew? Years ago I'd fight for things like this, today I respect wishes.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Closet blogger?

My friend admitted to having a blog. I said nothing about mine.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Tick...

I've been listening to college radio a bit. Some guy was describing Los Angeles as a giant tick which is ready to explode.

I was on my way to pick up some food, instead I drove straight home. Yuk!

Oh yeah, it's time to go back and visit.

Snippet

"...when you get what you want but not what you need..." tiny snippet from a new Coldplay song. I've never thought of myself as a groupie, but I love these guys.

Singles

Something is in the air. Something that is making all my single friends seriously start thinking about dating with the end result being a long-term committed relationship (oh, how I avoid the word marriage). The scary thing is that all this talk about dating has me thinking about dating as well. I don't need this kind of pressure. Then again, it could be exactly the kind of pressure I need.

One of my friends was telling me that her mother wants to pray to some saint so my friend will find that someone. What?! Are you kidding me? Then again, it's along the same lines as having my family think I might be gay. jejejeje

I'm calling J on an almost daily basis because her due date was this Sunday, 5/22. No baby yet and she is losing her patience...there was little patience to begin with.

Ah, life!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Too happy?

I've been in a great mood lately and damn it makes me happy. I realize how I have changed. There were a couple of years where I was that annoying person who was always happy. Nowadays, it's not that I am unhappy, depressed or anything negative per se. I'm blah...not happy...not unhappy...no extremes. That's definitely better than being on the negative side, but having this glimpse of the positive side makes me want it all the time.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Breather

There should be a law against passing a certain level of busy. And if it is not fun busy, someone ought to be hanged. The last thing I want to do these days is anything computer related the minute I get I get out of work. To be at work for 12 hours on average and not even have the time to check the news online is ridiculous. And my blogging suffers...actually it's the first thing to go.

Well I am back, and with renewed commitment, just not tonight.

Unleashed

Jet Li. This guy makes me want to take up one of the martial arts. I wonder if he has an autobiography. I'd like to read about him.

It was not a straight 'action' film like the previous one. It had a human spin on it. Didn't love it, but I liked it. There is something that is so peaceful about Morgan Freeman, like the universal grandfather.

What was going on with 40 something year old Jet Li and that 18 year old girl? That was almost disturbing.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Monster In Law

Eye candy for the men. Eye candy for me...Michael Vartan. This movie was cute, but I thought it was going to be funnier. A lot funnier. They did what they always do put the funniest parts in the commercials.

It did make me want to move to Santa Monica/Venice Beach area though. (sigh) It's time to go visit Los Angeles again.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Casino Celebration

Celebrated a friend's birthday at a local casino. It was fun and I lost money.

I was one of three 'straight' women in a room of twelve. I never would have placed myself in that scenario in my wildest imagination. Just goes to show you, you never know where life may lead you.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The Interpreter

I had high expectations for this movie, but I was mildly disappointed. It was okay, I guess.

My movie habit is back!

Monday, April 25, 2005

Put that thing away!

I saw a p#nis! I'm walking to work when this guy catches my attention. I'm trying to focus because my eyesight isn't the greatest. I'm wondering what he is looking for. When I got close enough and realized it was m&sturbation session, I was appalled.

Look if you have to pee and there is nowhere to go, you gotta do what you gotta do. But that! In public! At 8:50AM! That is not cool.

I tell my coworker what happened. She's about my mom's age.
Coworker: Oh sweetie, that's the first one you see and like that.
Me: No....I mean yeah.

Jjejejejej I'm not outing myself to someone that could be my mom.

The last time I was appalled on that street was when one of the security guards was smoking pot before 9AM. Oh yeah, I feel safe now.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

German Food

My friends took me to dinner to a German restaurant. I played it safe, I ordered chicken. The waitresses held up whatever image I had of German women. Tall, strong, blonde, blue-eyed. When she asked me if I wanted water, I was afraid to give the wrong answer. ;)

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Seattle Day #4

Let see today was my final day in the Emerald City. Time flies.

I went up to the Bank of America Tower observation floor. "The tallest building in Seattle contains more lawyers in its 76 floors than in all of Japan." Amazing views. It was me and this professional photographer taking pictures for a good hour.


I'm not an architecture buff, but the main Seattle Public Library may have changed that. This is another reason to move to Seattle. I loved this place. It was just cool. Books galore, of course. Public computers every which way I looked. (sigh)

Next came something I did not want to miss Bill Speidel's Underground Tour in Pioneer Square. The tour guides were funny. I love a good sense of humor. Picture this: A toilet from the late 1800s. Camera flashes everywhere. Yep, I was right there with the Japanese tourists taking a picture of an old ass toilet and so was everyone else.

Went back to the Elliot Bay Book Company because it was right ther eand it was calling my name. A few more hours and it was time to go pack.

This was my intro to Seattle and I will be back. It was a wonderful birthday vacation.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Seattle Day #3

My plan was to go to the Seattle Art Museum and Tacoma's Museum of Glass. Museums are closed on Mondays. I'd know this if I was a regular patron.

I made it to Pike Place Market which has the original Starbucks nearby. The place was busy. So that was where it all started...now I see them on every corner. That was one of the 'awe' moments when I started working in SF. Coffee places at every corner. You'd think I would have bought a tall something-or-other latte, but I don't do coffee. I listened to a gospel group perform songs. And at my request, they sang "Amazing Grace."
I walked by Pike Place Fish and saw the guys throwing the fish around. I wanted to stay longer but can't stand the smell of fish. Had lunch at a Russian restaurant. Yummy.
Oh yeah and my most expensive purchase was at Pike Place Market...Polish pottery. Beautiful.

Next came the cruise. This was very relaxing and the first place I saw some Hispanics. I can't move to a city that does not have Hispanics. They were from Venezuela.
The cool part about the cruise was seeing the Seatle skyline on a sunny day and seeing the Coast Guard ships that crack the ice out in th ocean.

My day continued with a stop at the Seattle Aquarium. It was not crowded! I know the target audience is probably children, but I love educational places. Teach me something. jejejej

I was wiped out by the end of the day.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Seattle Day #2

I didn't rent a car, because the guidebooks said traffic was bad, parking was expensive and I could walk everywhere. I walked alright. There are some hills in Seattle that I think rival the ones in SF. I was tired yes, but enjoying every second. (Note: Need to start exercising.)

Being in my spiritual mode, I went to mass at St. James Cathedral. The place was beautiful, but no Spanish mass. I had to go for the English, which took away from my participation since I don't know the English version of prayers. The mass was good, very organized, no crying children, great choir. Completely different from my regular Sunday mass.

I trekked down to Pioneer Square, Seattle's oldest neighborhood. I spent hours here because I came across The Elliot Bay Book Company. I was in heaven! Great bookstore, with creaky wooden floors and staircases. Books, books and more books. (Sigh)

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Seattle

To celebrate my 31st birthday, I ran off to Seattle. I needed to think about my life and what I want. Am I doing what I need to do to get what I want and what I need? I reflected on the last three decades. What I've done right. What I've done wrong. What needs improvement. Oh yeah and have some fun.

Seattle is a beautiful city. One that I would not mind moving to as a matter of fact. Great weather, so much for the rainy reputation. I even got a tan while I was there. Seattle reminds me of San Francisco only cleaner and greener and it brought back great memories of Vancouver. Therefore, I think I am meant to be in the Northwest. Next stop Portland?

Today I spent the day at Seattle Center, which contains both the Space Needle. and Pacific Science Center. Tourist trap? I'm sure of it, but it was fun.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Almost time...

for me to run away for a few days. Why is it that I plan something and everything seems to run smoothly up until the couple of hours before?

Work came out of nowhere. People wanted things they could have easily requested on Monday. But no, the request came today hours before I'm supposed to be on a plane.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

It's official

I need a break and pronto! While making an attempt to catch up on my blog readings, perusing some posts, skimming others. Trying to remember the names of certain blogs because I managed to delete my favorites.

I read the following sentence:

"I wonder whether it is possible to suffer from reverse SAD?"

What? This does not make sense. I read the post again. My interpretation:

"I wonder whether it is possible to suffer from reverse Software Architecture Document?"

All I have to say is, Rational Unified Process artifacts...bite me!

Not there yet

I am not used to the time change. Going to sleep at 3AM (because it should really only be 2AM) and getting up at 6AM. Missing all my 9AM meetings because I can't seem to get there on time. This better change soon, because I am tired.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Spring Forward

Woke up at 11:30AM. If the time had not been changed it would have been 10:30AM, which seems a tad more acceptable.

Church was packed today. This kind of attendance usually only takes place on two days: Easter Sunday and December 12, El dia de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Moments

Moments in history that have served as bookmarks in my life:

1. March 30, 1981, President Ronald Reagan was shot

2. May 13, 1981, Pope John Paul II was shot

3. 1984 Summer Olympic Games in Los Angeles

4. September 19, 1985, Mexico City Earthquake Magnitude 8.1

5. January 28, 1986, Space Shuttle Challenger explodes

6. December 21, 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 explodes

7. March 24, 1989, Exxon Valdez oil spill

8. June 4, 1989, Massacre in Tiananmen Square

9. November 9, 1989, Berlin Wall falls

10. Riot at my high school, racial problems

11. 1990, World Cup - Italy

12. January 16, 1991, Operation Desert Storm

13. April 29, 1992, Los Angeles Riots

14. My brother runs away from home

15. April 19, 1993, Waco compound burns

16. January 17, 1994, Northridge earthquake

17. April 19, 1995, Oklahoma City Bombing

18. My uncle commits suicide

19. My brother is in a serious car accident

20. July 16, 1999, John F. Kennedy Jr. dies

21. My mother is diagnosed with kidney failure

22. September 11, 2001, World Trade Center, Pentagon, Pennsylvania

23. February 1, 2003, Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrates

24. May 8, 2003, Tornado hits Oklahoma City (blocks from my parents' home)

25. January 2004, Discovered blogging ;)

26. November 2004, Presidential Election

27. December 26, 2004, Tsunami

28. Today, Pope John Paul II dies

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Topical steroid

My doctor prescribed a topical steroid cream for my bout with Pityriasis rosea. The itchiness is gone, which is great. But something else happened. The cream burned my skin. I have some serious discoloration going on that will take weeks maybe months to disappear, per my doc. I didn't even get muscles out of my "steroid" usage.

Scent

I have been observing people lately. Not much in the reading mood during my commute these days (due to the neck pain) so I use the time to check people out.

Women putting their make up on in the morning never cease to amaze me. What if someone bumps into you while you are putting on the mascara. The trains are crowded. You could seriously hurt your eyes. Is the risk worth it?

During the week I never get to sit by myself. Someone always sits next to me. There is that instant when someone sits next to you and you get their scent. Some days I'm lucky and the just showered person sits next to me. Is that Zest I smell? Such a clean odor, it makes me want to breathe deeper. Sometimes it's the person that had a cigarrete seconds before getting on the train. Don't like that much. It takes a few minutes to get used to the odor and eventually be able to ignore it. Why do people smoke? Yuk. Today was a doozie. On the morning commute someone that had a curry scent sat next to me. A strong curry scent. You know how when you walk into someone's house, the house has an odor? Often times it's a good odor, sometimes not even noticeable. Everyone has an odor. Other times, there is a distinct odor. That was what I was reminded of. A distinct odor. On the evening commute someone with some serious body odor sat next to me. Wow! Did you go to the gym and forget to shower? Do you not have a clue? Or maybe you just don't care. It was a nauseating 30 minutes. I had to alter my breathing. But I wasn't going to give my seat up, I was tired.

Body odor guy was also biting his nails. Biting nails in public does not look good. It's a bit gross. Biting nails is silent though, you don't get the nail clipper sound. Yep, I've seen and heard that too on the train. *Clip*Clip*Clip*

Exquisite Pain

The tension in my neck and shoulders has been building this past week. Today holding my head up required major effort. I made a last minute appointment with the visiting massage therapist. I was hoping to catch an hour, but my day was so hectic I was only able to squeeze a fifteen minute appointment. Oh my goodness! It was delicious even though the woman hurt me. It was painful when she hit the high tension spots, but it was a very good painful. The music was Enya-like. Of course. I told her, "I have a meeting in 15 minutes and I can't be late." Those fifteen minutes felt like an eternity. That's how good she was. She's got herself a new client.

I hadn't had a massage in years. The first time was great but extremely uncomfortable. The idea of having only towels covering specific body parts was too weird. I remember my friend and I walking up to the massage building and having to choose the therapist. It was either the extremely handsome guy or the petite older woman. We both chose the petite older woman. hahaha She was also amazing. When it was over I was milli-seconds from falling asleep. The next day I was in pain though, serious pain.

I should work on making massage a monthly (at minimum) event. That or acupuncture. I hear great things about acupuncture.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Simple

1) Gelato on a sunny day. Like today, running out of the office in between meetings to get a minor sugar fix.
2) The way Google changes their banner. Today they had a van Gogh spin on it.
3) Seeing people, anyone, with a genuine smile.

I love how simple, and I really mean simple, things make me happy.

Break

I took a break for about a week and a half, meaning I did not turn on the home pc. (There is no choice at work...unfortunately.) It's amazing how dependent I am on the pc. The need to check personal emails or the random reading. I'm looking forward to September. If all goes as planned, I'll be in Mexico visiting my grandmother. While there, television, computers and radios are not things that occupy my time. It's all about conversation and interaction every single day. The other wonderful thing about my destination is the quiet. I can sit outside and not hear anything. No noise pollution. The air is better too. I'm reaching my burnout point.

Someone from my team resigned today. Makes me wonder if he knows something the rest of us don't. I also said goodbye to one of the contractors today. And tomorrow I will be saying goodbye to another contractor.

My friend has decided to name her baby Sophia after all the potential names I wrote on the white board. Little Sophia will have to thank me in the future, she could have been a Hannah. Nothing against Hannah, I don't like the name because it sounds boring. What would be the nickname? Hann?

Monday, March 21, 2005

Bus

I still don't have my car so I took the bus this morning. These two women were talking (in Spanish) about someone who speaks Spanish but refuses to do so. This is not highly looked upon in my community. People that do this get on my nerves as well. As they are talking about this person they both know, they started looking at me like I'm one of those snobs.

This is always tricky. I've been in situations where I greet someone in Spanish and they answer me in English mildly annoyed. I've greeted someone in English and they answer me in Spanish more than mildly annoyed. How the hell am I suppose to know what language you want to be greeted in?

I've had the encounters where the other person assumes I don't speak English and proceeds to show me up. Ok, if you feel you must prove something go ahead, but don't get upset if I correct your language usage. There is this I'm better than you thing going on. Of course, it's not everyone, but it's there and I hate it.

Back to the bus ladies..."Esta gente con el nopal en la frente." Indirectly directed at me. What did I do? I'm sitting there trying to get to work, minding my own damn business and I am branded a snob. Somedays we run into these lose-lose situations and nobody is better for it.

Lunch talk

Listened to the founder of craigslist give a lunch talk today. Kind of cool to see the founder of the website I have visited too many times to count. He mentioned that the most traffic to the site happens during work hours. Go figure. We're probably all looking for another job.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Bored

I have spent entire weekends reading or watching DVDs, not seeing a ray of natural sunlight in over 48 hours. This is not new to me and on rainy days, like today, even welcomed on my part. Yesterday and today, in my new carless state, I have been bored out of my mind. I don't like to drive in the rain. If the car was parked in its parking space, I would not be bored. Am I so dependent on a car that I cannot enjoy my day?

The thing that really bothered me was not being able to make it to mass today. My parents called and after hearing my woe ask, "Why don't you go to church with your friends?" Oh, because my friends are atheists and are not going to want to spend 1.5 hours in church with me on Palm Sunday where we'd probably not have seats because everyone and their mamma would be there along with their screaming children. "There atheists?" Yes or non-practicing Catholics like yourselves.

Consequently, I have the cleanest apartment this side of the hills. Good way to start Spring. Maybe the lord does work in mysterious ways. ;)

Friday, March 18, 2005

Jinxed

As I am walking to my car this morning I see a leak of who-knows-what coming from my car, that is not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. I have to telecommute due to the unexpected car problem. I wait all day for the fateful call that will inform me the price of my discovery. At 3PM the call comes through, which starts and ends with this: "We need to check that you did not cause any engine damage. We are going to have to keep it here."

Wasn't I planning a vacation just a few days ago? Wasn't I looking forward to escaping? Wasn't I one hour from seriously contemplating buying a ticket to Hawaii? Yes, yes, and yes.

Engine trouble were the only words I needed to hear for me to put a stop to any and all vacation plans. I don't like unexpected surprises like that.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Alaska?

Continuing with my recent adventurous phase, I started looking for Alaska travel packages. I want to escape for a few days next month, so it would not be anything lengthy. Then New York or Chicago came to mind after some suggestions from Rori. She also suggested France in July. But France would require a bigger financial commitment than I want to make and I am suppose to be in either Vancouver or Calgary in July. My big travel expense this year is slated for Mexico in September. (Inshallah... as my friends would say.)

I only hope that by writing this down, I have not jinxed myself in any way. I would be content with a few days in a monastery with 24 hour quiet rules.

Persuasion

Went to see Laurie Puhn, J.D. share a bit of the concepts found in her book: Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life. I am always in awe of people that can get up and speak. Not just speak, but speak eloquently and effortlessly. I want that for myself.

Some people say I already possess this ability. But I don't. It's not effortless and it sure as hell is not eloquent. I can relay information, but I believe anybody can do that. There is a difference.

From the seminar, I was happy to see that I already practice a lot of her rules. I just don't do them consistently and there is room for improvement...as with anything. I'll buy the book soon enough.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Modern Dance

I made a last minute decision to go see a dance performance this afternoon. I was feeling so adventurous I decided to just show up and not call ahead of time for ticket availability. Worse case scenario, I would wind up hanging out in Berkeley for a few hours. I'm glad there were tickets. I don't like Berkeley as much as I used to.

The performance was at the university. All the students looked so young and don't even get me started on the 'fashion.' It brought back memories of my freshman year. Oh, the memories. hahahah

For a couple of years, I've planned to go see an Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater concert. I never got around to it for one reason or another. I definitely missed out all those years.

The program consisted of:

Hidden Rites (1973; music by Patrice Sciortino; choreography by Alvin Ailey; restaged by Masazumi Chaya*)

Love Stories (2004; music by Stevie Wonder; original composition composed and produced by Darrin Ross; choreography by Judith Jamison with Robert Battle and Rennie Harris*)

Revelations (1960; traditional spirituals and gospel music; choreography by Alvin Ailey)



Needless to say, the performances were beautiful. Fun. Hidden Rites was very modern. Love Stories with Stevie Wonder music?! Great. A hip-hop thing going on. I was feeling it. Revelations was excellent, and what a lot of people in the audience (repeat attendees) were looking forward to.

In school I had a very snobby attitude as far as degrees were concerned. This attitude strengthened by a lot of hard work and countless sleepless nights to complete the workload. I, and my classmates, literally lived in the lab. Some of the guys used to sleep under the table. Therefore, you could not convince me that dance was worthy of a degree. One evening when things were not making sense anymore because we'd been working non-stop for too long, we took a break. We went to see a friend perform who was taking a dance class in the Arts building. It wasn't just him dancing, it was a rehearsel for the dancers year end show.

I still remember a ballet solo by this girl, who was, plain and simple, not attractive. She started her solo. By the time she was done she was not only the most beautiful woman in the place, she helped me to see the beauty of the arts and respect them. I was moved to tears.

Then it was back to the lab, each of us had chosen our poison. ;)

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Pityriasis rosea

I was misdiagnosed. It's not a bacterial infection. The antibiotics did nothing for me. I went to the dermatologist today. Within two minutes she knew what it was: Pityriasis rosea.

The best part was this: There is nothing you can do to speed it up. It usually lasts within 6 to 12 weeks. Best case scenario, it will be gone in three weeks. Worst case scenario, you will have it for 9 more weeks.

The itching is driving me crazy. I was given topical steroids to calm the itching, which I have to pick up tomorrow because the pharmacy didn't have it in stock today.

Hey, maybe I'll get the Christmas tree pattern. Joy!

Monday, March 07, 2005

Screwed

I screwed myself and was screwed by my coworker. Not in the "get-your-mind-out-of-the-gutter" sense, thank you very much. (If that were the case, this would probably be a happy post. Anyway...)

A document that was suppose to be up-to-date was grossly out-of-date. To the point that I had to rewrite the whole damn thing. What I thought was going to be two hours of edits turned into a f*cking all nighter. Meaning that as of the writing of this very sentence, I have been awake for the past 35 hours. The meeting was at 11AM and I finished printing all the copies at 10:58AM. That was close.

I'm upset with myself because I was told it was current so I delayed looking at the document. I already knew what I needed to edit, it was going to be quick. I'm upset with her because she lied to me. I'm upset at the team because we did not review the document at the meeting...they were too busy talking about the new project that takes priority over this one as of 10AM.

I accept my part in this. I am a procrastinator. I used to live for this kind of pressure, my best work usually came from these self-created, stressful scenarios. But today, this is not my thing anymore. I value my beauty sleep too much.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Virus

My computer is the host to one of the IM worm viruses. Someone take my computer away, I don't deserve it.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Saturday - Work

It's the first Saturday this year I had to go into the office. 10 hours! It won't be the last, I know that for a fact. This one was a consequence of too many meetings and too much socializing.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Babyshower #2 Luncheon

J started crying when she saw all of us gathered in the room. That was a hormonal cry if I ever saw one. It was fun to hear all the parents giving advice and hearing them tell us about their parenting learning experiences, aka mistakes.

And to further cement the geek factor one of the guys called into the babyshower. Yes, he teleconferenced into the babyshower. Like my ex-manager said, we've seen it all.

All my work friends are becoming members of the Mommy Club. One by one they are acquiring their membership this year. I'm happy for them, but I really don't look forward to all the baby topics that will begin dominating our conversations.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Design Review

Yeah, the design reviews are interesting. There was a time they gave me butterflies. I eagerly looked forward to all that stuff. Now, I look forward to walking out the door even if it is my genius of a crush leading.

I wonder if still finding them "interesting" will turn into a mini-passion again. After all, donde hubo fuego, cenizas quedan. ahaahhaha

Circus

I wish I were one of the graceful members of Cirque du Soleil. Graceful does not equal body contortionist. ;)

The arts are missing from my life. I'm going to the art museum next week. Haven't done that in ages.

Babyshower #1 Luncheon

"A" had her babyshower today. Doctor told her she could have the baby any day now even though her due date is March 20.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Farewell Luncheon

Today we had a farewell luncheon for three coworkers. Their contracts have not been renewed. One of the side effects from the offshoring endeavour. (Personally, I think I have between one or two years before my job is in danger...that's if I don't leave first.)

If you are a contractor you get paid a lot more than employees. And supposedly, the trade off is that you know the company can be let go at any time and no benefits to speak of. I could never contract. I don't like that level of uncertainty.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

March!

Can it be March already?!?

Monday, February 28, 2005

Rash

The problem with self-diagnosing is that I'm wrong 99.99% of the time. I don't even know why I bother, I'm no doctor. I refuse to take medication if I can help it. I can spend more than an hour in the pharmacy aisles looking at all the medicine and not knowing what they are for; frankly, overwhelmed by my own ignorance.

One of my coworkers who I have been working closely with came back from Brazil with chicken pox. That was the diagnosis from her doctor. For two days prior we tried to come up with what it could be. A spider bite? Tick bite?

Within a few days I developed a rash and the itchiness began. Coincidence? But thanks to all those wonderful internet sites I concluded I did not have chicken pox. I thought I was having an allergic reaction to something. I didn't know what and I was trying to figure it out. New shampoo? Bodywash? Soap? Laundry soap? Pistacchios? I washed everything in fragrance free, color free, sensitive skin detergent. That took me hours.

I reached my itchiness threshhold this morning. I could no longer take it and worst of all, it was spreading. It turns out I have a skin infection. A skin infection! Not hives, not an allergic reaction. Antibiotics and an anti-itch cream is my salvation...I hope. My doc asked me if I had cats? Nope, no cats. She concluded that there must have been bacteria in my nails, I scratched and that was the beginning. How disgusting is that?! There is bacteria everywhere. I ride public transport for goodness sake. Trying to keep the paranoia in check.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Oscars

Disappointing. Chris Rock was the saving grace of the show and even that did not seem to be enough.

I'm not a musician. I like Beyonce's songs, but damn those renditions sucked! And the Banderas/Santana collaboration, spare me. That performance sucked as well and maybe even a bit more. Someone tell Santana not to chew gum while on stage.

I entered two Oscar pools and lost both. Funny thing is I got 10 selections right on each ballot even though I made different choices for each. Atleast I'm consistent. ;)

Let's hope this coming movie year is a good one.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Movie Marathon Saturday

That's what I'm officially calling today. Somewhere along the line I have dropped the ball on my movie watching habit. Part of the reason is the turnaround time it takes for a movie to make its DVD release. It's quick. Quick enough for me to wait them out.

Finding Neverland
This movie was magical for me. It displayed the power of imagination, which in this day and age seems all but gone specially for kids mired in video games.

It was a beautiful visual trip just like The Phantom of the Opera was. And Johnny Depp, don't even get me started. He's beautiful.

Maria Full of Grace
I'll support a Spanish language movie any day. But I did not find this movie over the top. It was good, but I didn't think it was great. The movie did make me gag though while watching Moreno's character practice how she was going to get those pellets down.

Don Fernando is the real deal. A real pillar of the community who has sent bodies back to their home country after an untimely death. My hats off to him.

The evils of money were well captured. I'd like to see a movie of third world country individuals selling their organs to people with money in first world countries.

I liked hearing all the Usted form of speaking. It sounds nice and different. I usually save it for my elders or strangers.

Ray
All the hype surrounding this movie was close to becoming over-hype. It was good. To see the struggles of a person and then overcome them is always a good to see. Determination and passion: characteristics of the greats.

I've always wondered what it's like to do drugs. Thank goodness for that something in me that fears traveling down that road.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

The Aviator (movie)

I had no desire to see The Aviator. As the movie was starting, I still had no desire to watch it. Just goes to show me not to judge a movie by its movie poster or my own preconceptions. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Watching the mental demise of Howard Hughes was sad yet riveting. DiCaprio is cursed (or blessed) with a young face, so my friends could not get over that aspect. Who cares. I think he did a great job. The passion of Hughes was admirable.

There were two scenes of mind over matter that sealed the deal for me. 1) When Alan Alda's character purposely places the thumb pring on the glass and 2) the hearings where he had to drag himself out of his mental state and present himself before the world. Any movie that makes me want to read is worthy of my vote. I'll have to pick up a Hughes biography one of these days.

I've known the Hughes name for almost as long as I've known my own. My mother worked 22+ years for Hughes Aircraft. All the kids, of the people who worked there, would eagerly wait for those yearly (sometimes longer) visits where they allowed the "public" to even enter the premises. Then we'd get to see the cool satellites and demos. It was a WOW experience. I sent my resume to Hughes Aircraft (if in name only) while I was still a student. I didn't get past the second interview. ;)

The Spruce Goose. All those years in Long Beach, CA and I never went to see it. I went to see the Queen Mary, but not the Spruce Goose which was her neighbor! Now I wish I had.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Memphis, Tennessee (MEM)

Coming back home the route was OKC-MEM-SFO. A guy caught my attention on the second leg of my flight. [This was good, because it was proof the old ticker is still alive!] The internal dialogue started: Do I talk to him? How do people flirt? What would M do? hahahha Ridiculous! All I could manage were a few smiles. At baggage claim he was on the other side of the carrousel. He smiled. Next thing I knew he was standing to my left. Another smile exchange. Neither of us said a word. My bag was next on the carrousel and I was out of there.

Straight to work facing 342 new emails. Keep in mind, Monday was a holiday. I had a meeting from 4 - 5pm that I set up. Me? Setting up a meeting for the day I got back from vacation. I must not have been feeling well when I did that.

It was great seeing my family and friend. Now I need to stop neglecting my friends in L.A. ;)

Friday, February 18, 2005

Minneapolis, MN (MSP)

I had to reserve a door-to-door van to get me to SFO by 5am. The driver picked up three other passengers on the way. Two of them were going to the East coast to attend a funeral. Whatever doubts I was having about traveling were quickly wiped away. You just never know what life has in store for you.

To date, there are no direct flights to OKC. The first leg was SFO-MSP. I was the only 'person of color' on this flight. This has never happened before! It felt extremely weird. Walking to my connecting flight (MSP-OKC) all I saw were white people. If there was any doubt it was quickly cleared, I was not in California anymore.

During the first leg of my trip nobody talked unless they were traveling together, which is normal. On the second leg, people were chatting each other up. Smiling. Helping fellow travelers stow their luggage. Further affirmation that Midwesterners are extremely nice.

This trip was suppose to be a surprise. In the end it was not. Oh well.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Break

I bought a last minute ticket to go visit my family. I will be there for a couple of days enough to get a break and enjoy being with my loved ones.

The three main reasons for going are:
1) celebrate my mother's birthday (by default see my father and brother)
2) see my uncle who recently had a heart attack
3) see my friend who might be leaving the States permanently

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Grammys

I love Norah Jones' demeanor. The girl is cool in a quiet way.

Alicia Keys performance had me singing loud and missing quite a few notes.

Gwen Stefani was pure energy just like in the No Doubt concert I went to back in the 90s.

Laura Branigan passed away in 2004?! Branigan was the first English record I ever bought back in 1982! Gloria was my song.

Tickle

You know that feeling you get when you are about to get sick and there is no getting out of it? I'm there. Yesterday I had a tickle in my throat, which has graduated to a scratchy throat and low energy.

I don't want to be sick. I was sick in November for goodness sake. (Excuse my whining)

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Stitches

I made it to Santa Clara for the yearly knitting convention. Yarn is expensive, I still don't know why I initially thought knitting was a cheap hobby. I had a sensory overload, so many beautiful colors and so soft to the touch. I saw a couple of men knitting, which reminded me to check my generalizations at the door. Then there were the other men, the men whose wives or girlfriends dragged them there. Poor guys, I felt for them, but it is Valentine's weekend and you have to keep the women happy. ;)

Getting to Santa Clara gave me a headache. Yahoo gave me incomplete directions. I was lost for two hours! Two hours is a long time to be lost and traveling between Milpitas and San Jose in hot weather. I finally stopped at a Borders to look at a map. I realized I was always a bit too south of my final destination. Oh well.

My project is a baby hat for a friend who is expecting in May. It's an exquisite hand-dyed, angora and merino yarn.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Ash Wednesday 2005

It's early this year! Hoping I have a spiritual (re)awakening.

I got my yearly review today. It was good except for one item. My boss and some of my teammates believe I am "dis-engaged" in meetings. I wholeheartedly disagree, but if more than one person has come to this conclusion I need to work on something to make them realize I pay attention to some of the boring crap I have to sit through.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Fell

I was rushing around this morning in an attempt to make it to my morning meeting in time. I had decided to leave the window open all day, and then thought not to because it was such a beautiful day my downstairs neighbor might decide to BBQ. All that smoke usually makes it into my apartment if I leave the window open. Yuk!

Coming back from closing the living room window, my foot got caught on a basket whose temporary residence is my living room floor. I came an inch from one of the following: a black eye, a broken nose or some broken teeth. My face almost caught the corner of a table. Almost doesn't count. For those few seconds, everything was s-l-o-w motion.

My right knee is banged up pretty bad. My left leg is in pain. I had to start yoga type breathing in order not to cry. And to top it all of, I was late to the meeting.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

The Secret Lives of Dentists (movie)

I enjoyed this movie because it was a slice of life view, albeit not under the best circumstances. Premise: A married couple, both dentists, with three children and the added drama of infidelity on the wife's part.

Campbell Scott's character, David Hurst, sees what seems to be his wife kissing another man. For the duration of the movie, he does not question her. He fears he will lose her so he keeps his doubts to himself.

Can you imagine having this gnawing feeling that your spouse is cheating on you and not say anything? Not ask questions. Not react for fear of losing that person. If that was me, the fear of losing my spouse would be what would make me seek a confrontation. Here's to never having to find out how I would react in such a situation.

Hotel Rwanda (movie)

1994. Where the hell was I and what was consuming all of my attention? Let see, I worked full-time and was a full-time student. Any time left over, which was limited, was devoted to school work, family, friends and a boyfriend. Is this an excuse for not knowing about the genocide in Rwanda? Of course not.

This movie educated me on the atrocities that took place in Rwanda. There were many scenes that made my jaw drop, but one in particular I could not even dream up in my worst nightmare. Paul thinking they had driven off the road only to discover they were driving over bodies.

There were few dry eyes in the theatre. I could hear the sniffling of my fellow movie patrons. Even though this happened in the past, there is a feeling of helplessness. In the past, I have often been torn as to where to devote my help. Do I focus on the people in my country, where plenty need some form of help? Or should the focus be outside of the country. I have limited funds I can donate. In the end, my hope is that it all evens out somehow. With some people finding their passion in local causes and others in international causes. Is it unrealistic to have this simple wish.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Surprise

I was enjoying a quick coffee. (Me, coffee? Who would have thought.) All of a sudden I hear someone call my name. This lady comes over and hugs me. It was too fast, I didn't have a chance to step back and ask, Who are you? It turned out to be a friend of mine who I had not seen in over a year maybe even two. That was a nice surprise.

Monday, January 31, 2005

Sideways (movie)

Two friends travel through wine country. It reminded me of the August trip my friend and I made. I could identify with Jack, since I know nothing about wine and don't have an inkling to learn more.

I got a kick out of the depicted wine culture. I sat there laughing because I know people like that. One of them was sitting next to me in the theater. ;)

This movie was funny. It helped that I did not have high expectations considering how often I'd heard it was a great movie. I'd never heard one of my friends laugh that much and loud in over three years...that definitely says something about this movie. Cheers, have some agua fria.

Before the movie we ventured out to taste some Singapore cuisine. I have a little problem when my dish arrives and I can still see red in the meat. Nope, not for me. Top that off with the degree of spiciness, I didn't really enjoy it. The cool thing was the presentation though. The dish had 1/4 a pineapple with the skin and leaves. I had to lay the pineapple on its side to see my friend across the table.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Membership Revoked

It appears my honorary nerdville card has been revoked. I was lost in the techie store. I had to ask for help. This was unheard of years ago.

People were rude too. Standing in line to ask for what I needed, two people cut in front of me. Even though they had seen me! What the hell?! It's a FIFO queue, jerks. I was not going to stand by and allow that...and I didn't.

Leaving the parking lot I saw what I thought would be my future residence. I was ready to walk into the leasing office and sign a lease. No matter how much I wanted to live there, it wasn't in the cards. It was an apartment complex for people over 50. It was beautiful though. (sigh)

Saturday, January 29, 2005

KVM Switch

I'm off to nerdville to get a KVM switch. Thanks to my little brother who surprised me by sending me his box. He upgraded to a gamer PC.

Multiple machines at work and two machines at home. Do you hear that? It's carpal tunnel calling me by name.

Friday, January 28, 2005

250-square-feet

Read an article about small living spaces. 250-square-feet sounds awful, but 250 sq. ft. for two people is a nightmare. I'm in a 850 sq. ft. apartment and it seems about right.

I should be forced to live in a 250 sq. ft. apartment so I can rid myself of all the stuff I don't need. Plus, there would be less surface area to clean.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Breakfast

Girl (on her cellphone): Hi sweetie.
..
Girl: That's sweet. Yes, I'd like some breakfast.
..
Girl (obviously annoyed): A bagel? You did say breakfast, didn't you? A bagel is not breakfast.

Come on now. This is America. Land of eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes... ;)

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Conversation

I had dinner with A tonight. I don't know why but we always wind up going to Italian restaurants. We have to throw some diversity into dinners. Everyone there was on a date, except for us. We could tell the people there were on their initial dates, you know the ones where you are still on your best behavior, putting your best self forward.

Conversation was fun as always further proven by the eavesdroppers in the next table. We've become those people we complain about...the ones that talk about work outside of work. When the hell did that happen? We talked about the chaos we have each been facing in our respective jobs.

I made a strong effort not to ask about her boyfriend. I figured if she wanted to talk about him, she would. Sure enough, she did. She expects a proposal this year. I hope she gets one, because even though she does not come right out and say it, it's what she wants. They've been together 11 years.

I met A when she had been with him for 8 years. Back then I thought that was crazy. I started asking the annoying question she got from the other people in her life, "When are you planning on getting married?"
Sometime later I realized it was none of my damn business and that maybe the arrangement they have is working for them. Obviously it is working for them, many marriages don't last as long as their relationship.

I'm happy that she is happy. We are friends but I wouldn't say we are close friends. It's funny, but there are distinctions in friendships. She told me she wanted a small wedding with only her family and close friends. Right that second, I knew I was not going to get an invitation. I don't fit the definition of close friend. And that's okay, but I'd want to witness a church ceremony, don't care much for the reception. ;)

Close friends? Hmmm. The number has diminished. Time and distance have not helped. Many people consider me their close friend, but I don't consider them mine. That means I am an equal-opportunity friend. hahahhah

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Life's Joy

In contrast to the sadness, there is happiness.

A is due in March.
J is due in May.
M is due in July.
M is due in October.

I drop potential names here and there to no avail. Tell me, what's wrong with Mazu? I think it's a cute girl's name. Then there is my name. hahahaha ;)

Just - Really - Actually - I think

I use those words too often. It bugs me. I'm making a conscious decision to stop it.

My last two conscious efforts with respect to vocabulary were:
(1) Stop using "like"
Like, you know, right?
She was, like, getting on my nerves.

(2) Stop using f*ck (or any version of it)
Hard to believe but there were a couple of years where that was audible in almost every other sentence that came out of my mouth.
Did you see that f*cking wave?
What the f&ck!
You have to be f$cking kidding me.

If I'm around people that use those words often enough, I start to do so also. I'm a recovering something-or-other.

Sadness

It's never the right time to be sad.

Yesterday I spent about an hour with a coworker whose mother is dying of cancer. He doesn't know if she'll be around next week or next month. It's serious. The times I have asked him how he is doing, his answer is "Well, my mom is dying." There is no comeback to that phrase. I've interpreted as "I don't want to talk about it." It turns out that he does want to talk about it.

We discussed, if we had a choice, the two options: (1) knowing with plenty of time that someone is going to die or (2) having someone die all of a sudden. First option, I think, gives you a chance to prepare, accept, and to say "I love you" or whatever it is that needs to be said. But I don't think I would want the last living memories to be of pain and the person I love withering away.

Today I got an email from a friend of mine whose longtime pet died. I see a pet as another member of the family. She and her family are in mourning. I feel for them.

A few hours later came a phone call from my mother basically telling me to prepare for the worst with regards to my favorite uncle. He's not well, and he feels he could die. He asked my father to take care of his son should anything happen.
I started crying. I got a glimpse of what my coworker has been going through for months.

News like this brings out a selfish aspect of my character. I'm not ready to let my loved ones go. Immediate thoughts of my parents and brother come to mind. My own mortality.

One day at a time.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Promise (quote)

"Death is inevitable. It's a promise made to each of us at birth."
-Mary Alice, character on Desperate Housewives

As far as I know, it has not been attributed to anyone else.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Singing

There is a hidden camera show on VH1 called Motormouth. It's premise is catching people singing in their cars. Some are good, many are not good at all. Off key, don't know the words. People dance in their cars. Talk to themselves. It's funny!

Part of the reason I find it entertaining is because I sing in my car and at home. I'm talking about SINGING, no holds barred. I've had entire conversations in the car where I play the role of all parties. But I'm very aware of the surroundings though. If there is a red light, I don't sing. I guess I care if people think I am crazy.

Lately singing has been making me happy. If I've had a sh*tty day at work, as soon as I'm in the car I find a song and belt it out. I get in a good mood.

Am I any good? Honestly, I really don't think so. I would never karaoke, that's for sure. That would take major alcohol. ;)

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Stance

Things don't seem right in the world, when I'm blogging and convicted murderer Donald Beardslee was executed a few minutes ago in San Quentin State Prison (some 30 miles away).

A few years ago I was for the death penalty. I remember spending a Saturday signing Amnesty-type letters at church. We sat in a circular table and passed the letters along after the priest talked about the issue at hand. I absolutely agreed with most of the letters and signed them without a second thought. One of the letters was against the death penalty. Everyone signed it and then it got to me. I didn't sign it. Everyone looked at me strangely. I didn't think things could get more uncomfortable, but I was wrong. The next letter was against abortion. Everyone signed it, except for me. There was nothing I could do but smile and say, "I don't agree with the church's stance on both of these issues."

Today I am still in favor of the death penalty, but wavering. I'm still 100% for women's rights over their bodies.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Sunday Lunch

I invited myself over to a friend's home for lunch and to view some pictures. I thought I'd eat some simple noodles. I arrived to a Chinese feast. Seven dishes, all freshly made. It was great. They feasted on crab and fish, while I feasted on the other stuff. (I don't eat seafood.)

The men were cooking, while the women chatted. Now that's what 2005 is suppose to be like. ;)

I'm invited for Chinese New Year's. Looking forward to it.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Minor Luxuries

I don't have material needs. Food, clothing and shelter are covered. The next items go against my new fiscal agenda, which is to save, save, save.

I spent hours researching satellite radio. Two companies to choose from: Sirius and XM Radio. Why? Two reasons: (1) tired of commercials and (2) my Spanish music choices are limited. (One of the reasons I miss L.A.) The research was to determine which service I should go for. In the end, I was wondering why I had to limit myself to one. Why not both?

Then came TiVo research. My friends rave about this thing and I've seen why. I've been fighting this purchase for a long time, but I'm weakening.

Do I need them? No, not at all. Do I want them? Hell, yes, which is in direct contrast to save, save, save.

During one of my blog reading sessions, I came across an article about the cost of staying connected. It adds up, but we never fully realize it because we think of it as a monthly expense not a yearly one. My staying connected cost (land line, cell, ISP, cable, Netflix) comes to $171/month or roughly $2052/year. Do I want to add $36/month?

I believe I've just talked myself out of it. ;)

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

TV Imports

I feel cheated with respect to TV shows. I read something about numerous U.S. TV shows that are exported to what seems like all corners of the world.

If that's the case, where are the imports? I'm not talking about the Latin American soaps, I know where to find those.

The last thing I need are more options. But I'm curious and I atleast want the choice. Subtitled, not dubbed. Pet peeve: It irks me to hear something in English (or Spanish) and read the incorrect translation.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Just Ask

One of the hardest things for me to do is ask for help, which is weird because I go out of my way to help people out if I can. Part of it is pride..."I can figure it out on my own." The other part is fear. Fear that if I ask, I'll get no for an answer. This explains why I sometimes feel overwhelmed, like today and probably tomorrow.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Men

First Monday of the year and time to go back to work. I have a crush on one of my coworkers. Nothing is going to come of it...he's married.

If I'd seen him somewhere other than work, he would not have caught my attention. He's an average looking joe. He's not really well liked. He's arrogant. He interrupts people. He's moody. Why am I attracted to him? He's a freakin' genius. He's confident. He has his nice moments. He has this smirk like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I'm attracted to his brain.

I've been in love with three men. Two of them were average looking while one was too handsome for my own good. Two were terribly intelligent. One was funny, one was sweet and one was an #sshole. All were outgoing. All three were confident and stubborn. We all argued and we all liked to win.

I'm on a mission to identify what attracts me, because it's never the same. Intelligent and funny are at the top of my list.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

2005

Today marks the one year anniversary of my blog. 365 days in 2004 and I managed 139 entries. The entries were for the most part superficial, I decided not to write about personal things even though this is anonymous. I'll aim to change that a bit, but I am still going to document my movie watching. ;)

There was no drama in 2004. I had a peaceful year which I am thankful for. Hoping for a peaceful 2005 with some healthy excitement.

New year's resolutions? Sh*t, I'm not even going to bother. We'll see what happens. I'll just have to remind myself that we all make the time and put forth the effort for the things we really want.

I'm with my family until tomorrow evening. Then it's back to my single, adult life.