Spent

I have been participating in a six month program that has come to an end. It did so at the right time, I had reached my limit. I am emotionally and mentally exhausted. The thing that was killing me when things were bad was that I signed up for the program. I submitted an application and accepted the offer to join.

Every team had a vision, which in theory would provide cost-savings to the company. We presented our results yesterday to a room of peers and upper management. A vice president is willing to support our project. My team got so much positive feedback after our presentation...our egos will be healthy for a long time.

The journey to this point was not easy. (We were warned in advance about this.) It got to the point where I wanted to quit. (I am not a quitter.) It got the point where I was trying desperately not to hate my team members. (I never use the word hate.)

During the journey, I felt anger, disappointment. I cried. I was stressed. I was disconnected. I counted months, days, hours for it to be over.

Now that it is over, I feel a void. We learned so much, it has not really hit us yet. We were tested on so many different levels both professionally and personally.

We walked away knowing our strengths, but most importantly our weaknesses.

We walked away knowing we are leaders. Everyone thinks they can lead, but until given the opportunity no one really knows. Today I know for a fact that I can lead. Any doubts I ever felt are gone. The confidence I have gained is going to serve my life, not just my career. I am a different person than I was six months ago.

We went out to celebrate tonight. It was sad. It was superficial. We never bonded as a team. It may not hit us right away, but we have the answers to what went wrong. If each of us is able to pinpoint, own and work on what went wrong for each of us personally the past six months were a gift. If we are unable to do so, the past six months were a waste.